Hearts and Minds
by cannkeller
Summary: Though the war is over and won, Harry still battles with himself in terms of love and sacrifice.
1. Chapter 1

She stood distant from the crowd, as though she was somewhere entirely different, which did not surprise him as he looked upon her. She always appeared to be somewhere else. The light summer breeze swayed her body from here and there as though she was some lithe dancer. He chuckled slightly. It would be strange to anyone else, seeing her sway there with her radish earrings and upside down _Quizzler_ yet he loved it more than anything. In a sense, he was just like her, an oddball of sorts. They both loved the peculiar, although their brands of peculiar were hardly similar. It was strange to him that he had only started to actually notice her whilst in the depths to save his uncle's life. True, she wasn't there for him as much as Hermione or Ron yet that was her way and he liked that about her. She knew how to distance herself without severing herself completely from the world. The bright colors of parading streamers kept her from looking out of place. It was the perfect scenery for her, at least for today. Luna was ever changing.

Today was the fifth annual Day of Courage parade, a reminder of the ongoing struggle both wizards and creatures alike had to face through Lord Voldemort's oppression, and also, of the courage and strength of the wizarding community in its successful endeavor of defeating Lord Voldemort and restoring the peace. As an unofficial obligation, Harry, Ron, and Hermione were expected to be there every year. Yet each year, Harry felt the same cringe of displeasure in attending the festivity. All eyes were on him and that constant, firm gaze was more than enough to make him unsteady. All he wanted was to stay in his flat and just be there, happy and unbothered.

Yet this could never happen, of course. He had saved the wizarding world and that sort of thing could never be forgotten. They keep saying that his name will echo through the halls of Hogwarts for ages, which he has always just brushed off as if the statement was just some leaf but truly, he didn't really like the fact of being remembered for his Hogwarts years. Of course, it was always nice being well-liked and admired but it was nothing compared to being happy. He knew all too well, thanks to Rita Skeeter, that happiness was a far and distant hope for someone like him. Yet as he stood there, watching her sway with the light summer breeze, he couldn't help but to want to be where she was, even for just a moment. Just to have the chance to say that, for once, he didn't have the world watching him, and that, just for once, he was able to remain in his own little world of inner understanding.

Soon enough, he found his shoes walking in a new direction, away from the streamers and parading musicians towards the woman with flowing golden locks that would put even the sun to shame.

He hadn't thought that she had noticed him until moments later when she had whispered soothingly, "Hello Harry." And then slowly but surely, all of his memories of her flooded back as though he was walking through the ocean, bare soles coasting upon sand.

"Hello Luna," he replied with the same whispered air as she had.

It had been five years since he had seen her. In a way, she had changed, he could tell yet he couldn't quite put his finger on it though.

"What're you thinking, Harry?"

He separated himself from his thoughts and looked at her.

"Hmm?"

She turned her head to face him and he couldn't help but to be intoxicated by her long, batting eyelashes or coral-rose lips.

"You have a certain face you wear when you're thinking hard about someone. I was wondering who it was you were thinking about."

He looked at her in disbelief. He had forgotten that she was so highly intuitive.

"I was thinking about Hermione and how she's engaged to Ron now. It's so strange but normal at the same time, don't you think?"

"No, you weren't… and yes, it is quite funny since they couldn't stand each other during school," she replied lightly, head turned, facing the parade.

He chuckled nervously, "Luna, yes, I was…"

"Harry, no, you weren't."

He turned his entire body in conscious disbelief, "How could you possibly know what I was thinking?" he posed.

"You were thinking about me, Harry. I know. You've liked me for a long time now," she stated, still holding an uncontrived and indifferent air as she had earlier.

He stared in full incredulity at her as she turned her head ever so slowly with that same trademark smirk she wore so many years ago.

"How… how… how…"

"Did I know?" she finished quickly, "Hmm. I thought it kind of obvious our fifth year when you skipped our last feast to talk to me about Sirius."

"You see, I started to wonder...," she continued, "I started to wonder why me? Why would he care to talk to me about such a horrible thing that had happened just a few days prior? And I came to the conclusion, that you and I… you and I, Harry, are not so different. We both have had our losses and our gains, and no one truly understands us, do they?"

She laughed.

"I just… I slowly put the pieces together that you were meant for me and I for you. Ginny could never understand you and she knew that. She talked to me often about you and that only made me like you so much more. When she told me that you had broken up with her during Dumbledore's funeral, I just couldn't help but to think, maybe it was true, what I had envisioned for us all along could finally… take place," she whispered, now staring him directly in the eyes.

She shifted her gaze, scuttling her feet as she did so, "Oh, look at me. I'm such a mess. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…"

And with that, Harry placed his lips upon her partially open mouth which had the full intention of droning on about her prattling.

The kiss was interesting, nothing special by Luna's standards; however, she embraced him with open arms nonetheless, hoping for some type of fireworks. What started out slow seemed to break out into a feverish frenzy as he combed his fingers through her hair and held her body tightly against his. And that, exactly, was the fireworks that Luna was looking for.

He took her by the hand and led her away from the parade with the full intentions of leaving it forever.

"Luna, let me take you out for a coffee. I don't want to be here and if I'm right, I don't think you do either. There is so much I want to say that I can't say here…"

"But Harry, this is for you. For you, Hermione, Ron. You can't just leave that."

"Watch me or better yet, come with me," he smirked.

She laughed and shifted her gaze from the ground to him.

"Then yes, Harry. I would like that."

He held her hand firmly and led her to the gate out of Diagon Alley. Guiding her to his car, he then slowly pulled out from the curb into the opposite direction, away from Diagon Alley.


	2. Chapter 2

"What was that, Luna?"

"What was what?" she inquired, confused.

He shifted his eyes from the road and looked at her, "You've never been nervous to talk to me. You were just so… fragile."

He paused, "What happened to the Luna I used to know, the Luna who didn't care if what she said was considered strange or forthright?"

Harry had so much wanted to see her face, to see her reaction, but thought it better to focus on the road and so he turned his head back to the vast sea of street tiles before him.

All the while, she shifted in her seat, questioning which of the pre-planned phrases in her head would be the right one to say. She knew he had noticed her cautiousness and had thus practiced them while walking to the car.

"I'm not who I used to be. It's not like the war didn't change me at all."

She sighed, "I've grown up since then. I have bills now, I have everyday problems."

"Well, yeah, Luna. Everybody has bills to pay but that doesn't really jump start new personalities, especially for someone like you."

She thought breathless, "Well, I really don't know what you want me to say. I just… changed."

Harry figured he wasn't bound to get much out of her in the next few minutes and decided to change the topic to something else he had been wondering about.

"So where've you been all this time? These past five years, I haven't heard a word from you, Luna. It's like you were just wiped off the face of the Earth."

"I've been here, generally. I've just been selective on how often I leave my house. Unlike you, I don't thrive for attention," she said with a bite of sarcasm.

She was glad to have thought of something humorous hoping that this would make him drop the previous conversation.

Harry laughed.

"Yeah, that's me all right, always the attention seeker. See, there's that biting wit I remember," he replied smiling.

"But really, you've been here? I haven't seen you since that night at Hogwarts," he continued.

"Perhaps you were occupied elsewhere," she replied.

She looked away from the silhouette and looked out the window with a cold, dim look on her face. To accompany her disheartened expression was an equally depressing rain that had started to downpour from the sky.

Harry kept quiet throughout the last minute of their car ride together. It was not that he had noticed that she hadn't been talking but only because he himself became equally depressed by his thoughts.

For when his mind drifted toward Ginny Weasley's direction, everything became discouraging. For three years, he had lied to himself and had said that his detachment with her was only because he had not wanted her to be taken by Voldemort when in all reality it was only because he was afraid they would become serious. It was strange. He knew himself that to be afraid of love was quite pathetic when that was all that he had ever wanted. Yet it wasn't love that he was afraid of at the time, it was settlement. He hadn't wanted to be dragged down. He knew Ginny wanted to live near family and friends when Harry just wanted to live alone in some cabin on a mountain, completely desolate. Therefore, he broke it off with her despite his feelings for her.

He pulled in at some local London café given a more original name, Starbucks, and brought the car to a slow halt. He had hoped that Luna hadn't noticed him drifting off. For Luna to know that he was still in love with Ginny wasn't a topic that he cared to continue. And he knew that she would know. Luna was smart like that. Yet she had because she continued to look at him with that certain facial expression she had worn earlier, that facial expression that he couldn't quite name except as "the face" that was typically Luna.

Yet instead of her saying anything, she smiled, opened her door, and took a step out into the rain.

Harry stepped out of the car and shut the door.

"So is this the best coffee that London has to offer?" she asked excitedly.

He chuckled, "So they say."

"But then again, every coffee shop says that, don't they?" she replied, animated.

He hurried over to grab her arm and then led her into the café.

Starbucks was indeed a coffee shop fitting the most proud of Slytherins with its rich jade and coffee brown tones. It was vacant with only a handful of muggles conversing in hushed voices. Most were inane, predictable, and tired faces. Harry presumed they were so from such strenuous days at their jobs. Luna followed him in, thinking the same as he had about the café.

Setting her drenched _Quizzler_ onto the table, she slid onto her stool, and sighed, "Mocha Cappuccino?"

"On it," Harry replied, smiling, and then headed towards to the cashier.


End file.
